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Jacob Light Presents l A Review of The Things President Obama Said in His Speech at the University Of Michigan on Jaunary 27, 2012!
(Sorry, I couldn’t come up with a sexier title)

For those of you who were unaware, President Obama came to speak this morning, and it was awesome. He spoke about many of the issues that affect out student body directly, as well as college students nationwide. Thus, for those of you who were unable to attend the speech, let me bring you up to speed on what President Obama had to say:
+ Manufacturing is back, and Michigan (the state) gets all of the credit. We did such a good job, he created a BLUEprint of his plans to encourage other states to emulate our success. Go Blue! (Where blue is going, exactly, remains unclear)
+ Tuition prices are super high, and Michigan (the University) needs to get its act together. Obama: “Read my lips: No new tuition fees!”
+ President Obama is as frustrated with the crows that flock in the trees every night as we are, and he said that they’ve gotta go. However, immediately afterwards, he complimented the friendliness of our local squirrels. Apparently, the President does not know that the squirrels turn into crows at night.
+ Sasha and Malia were only mentioned once, and President Obama refused to autograph my Sasha and Malia dolls.
+ Obama wants all of us to be millionaires.
+ The President did not acknowledge the audience’s suggestion that Mitt Romney does not pay his fair share in taxes, but his mischevous smile indicated that we got the message.
+ Mary Sue rolled in about 5 minutes before the big O began speaking. I’m wondering if that was why the speech was delayed by an hour.
+ Despite hearing it at least 10 times, I cannot get through a single verse of “Shining Star.”
+ THE PRESIDENT SHOOK MY HAND! This means that what you are reading was kind of typed by the President!
Best day ever? Probz
Quote of the Day
For those of you who were worried that Palin used her hiatus from politics to smarten-up, fear not! Quoting Palin (for grammar nuts out there, you may want to skip this), “I think what Rick Perry having dropped out and that patriot having done well for the front-runner, whom I will call Newt Gingrich now, being the front-runner, having endorsed him, was a good smart move.” Why is this woman not running for president? Oh that’s right, because she’s an idiot.
Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0112/71769.html#ixzz1kVZWuhBI
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Alexandra Brill Presents | Daily Daily

Disclaimer: My trademark failure of attempted wit and humor should make it obvious that these are only my opinions.
+ I think the President may be coming to town! I’m not quite sure though because I can’t take my eyes off the gigantic photo of him on the front page.
+ In related news, an effort to limit the actual information the Daily prints has more than half the front page covered by pictures.
+ A Viewpoint suggests that the author of it doesn’t know anything about politics.
+ The Daily believes that young people need to care about the reelection campaign as much as they do about SOPA. I agree, and I think there should be a blackout of the White House site to show people what it would be like without it. There would be some serious 12 people riots.
+ A columnist thinks that the only bad thing Republicans have done was halt the construction of the Keystone XL pipeline. Sir, you seem informed and environmentally conscious. Good job.
+ In a surprising move, the Ann Arbor City Council decided to accomplish nothing.
+ The President will be speaking on Friday at 9:35 AM. I didn’t know time existed before 12PM…
+ “The ‘Harry Potter’ movies were better than the books” is the first line of an arts column I decided not to read.
Happy Tuesday!
Alexandra
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Lauren Coffman Presents | The Daily Daily
+ Over the weekend local doctors protested the treatment of medical professionals in Syria.
+British scientists are developing a new mouth spray to deliver medicinal marijuana to cancer patients. Don’t worry, I’m sure Governor Snyder will be cracking down shortly.
+Arizona lawmakers get legislative immunity.
+The Daily Editorial Board argues that GSRAs should be allowed to unionize!
+ACLU-University of Michigan Chair, Ellen Steele, urges CSG to pass the Coalition for Tuition Equality resolution ensuring that all young Michiganders have the same right to a quality undergraduate education.
+Emily Miller, a School of Social Work grad student, also thinks that CSG should pass the resolution.
+The Daily Arts section appears to believe it was the first to make the Alcatraz-Lost comparison.
+The Daily criticizes “The Iron Lady”, saying that a male leader’s biopic wouldn’t focus so much on personal shortcomings, somehow forgetting last year’s Best Picture Oscar winner, The King’s Speech.
+Remember when Newt Gingrich won the South Carolina primary, embarrassing his party and exposing their lack of unity? Yeah, that didn’t make The Daily.
+And, in news that didn’t make the print edition of the paper: President Obama will be speaking on campus this Friday.
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Jacob Light Presents l Daily Daily

Disclaimer: The following takes place between the hours of 1:00 and 2:00. Events that occur in this Daily Daily represent solely my opinions, and have no bearing on how I feel about the Michigan Daily as a publication, overall. If you can’t tell, I have been watching a lot of 24.
Hello Hello! Congrats on surviving a day without Wikipedia. I thought that the world was going to end, but, because it did not, here is today’s Daily Daily!
+ Jirwin describes Snyder’s State of the State assessments as “babble.” I disagree; Michigan 3.0 has win-win-win written all over it!
+ Daily opinion on SOTS is pretty good. Snyder appears confused as to why the 15% cut in education he implemented last year has failed to make high school students more prepared for college.
+ Obama rejects Keystone XL plan, despite the blood, sweat, and (predominately) tears John Boehner shed to get the legislation passed.
+ Let’s just take a moment to wrap our heads around the quote, “Newt Gingrich unveiled a television commercial on Tuesday that starts with an announcer saying that the former House speaker can defeat Obama.” lolwut
+ New froyo shop to open on E. Liberty, just to satisfy all of my cravings for frozen things this time of year.
+ The Daily thinks that you should know that there is such thing as a No Cussing Club, and it is lobbying ABC to pull an episode of Modern Family. I feel like this is a very good allocation of time.
+ State democrats show their support for a bridge to Windsor, a measure that Republicans will probably oppose because the bridges they like to build go nowhere.
+ The sports section was really good today. I suggest you all read it!
+ Lots of love for the West Wing. Well deserved, of course. However, I don’t understand why “the plot makes tax codes and trade disputes riveting” was included in the review. Is that not always riveting?
Bar night tonight! Getting ready to get my Necto on (equally ready to shower all of it off when I get back to my dorm).
Kthxbye,
Jacob Light
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Photo of the Day | Debating Ties

Fox News commentator Bret Baier selects his tie before Monday night’s GOP presidential debate in Myrtle Beach, SC. He made a good choice with the red one, but the post-Herman Cain debate was otherwise lacking in nice ties.
Read the full story on the influence of Fox News on the Republican nomination in today’s New York Times.
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