Tag Archives: Michigan Daily

Zeid El-Kilani Presents | The Daily Daily

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed herein reflect only the views of the
author and do not represent the opinions of the College Democrats at the
University of Michigan (UMCD), the Michigan Federation of College Democrats
(MFCD), the Michigan Democratic Party (MDP), or the Democratic National
Committee (DNC).

+ BREAKING NEWS: Mary Sue Coleman actually lives in the house on South University.

+ Tired of waiting for a cab or bus after a night of partying? Well, Pedicab is the new vomit comet. Drunken freshman rejoice!

+ Crime Notes: A thief had the option of stealing a Toyota or textbooks. He picked the more valuable item–the textbooks.

+ The issue of repatriation has entered the alphabet soup phase. The CUHRC reported to SACUA about complying with NAGPRA. Oh bureaucracy, how I love you.

+ At the World Stem Cell Summit, Alfred Taubman will be honored for being a large sack of money. Luckily he donated his body to science.

+ Tyler Jones wants K-12 students to directly evaluate their teachers. I could say more but I will let his opinion be the joke.

Happy Tuesday!

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Daily Daily (Thursday, April 2, 2009)

The following commentary reflects my opinions, rather than the opinions of any other person or institution.

1. The front page picture is of a tree that fell on a parked car, minus any explanation as to why this tree fell. Well I’m frightened.

2. Continuing coverage of the West Quad arson! Through skilled reporting techniques, the Daily found students who would complain about being confused and ill-informed when they had to leave their building in the middle of the night. This story just keeps getting better.

3. Sorry, the rest of the country, but the resession is awesome for the University, according to Mary Sue Coleman. Because they are short on funds, “entities” want to collaborate with the University. This sounds pretty sustainable, let’s just keep this recession going.

4. Derek Blumke is awesome. There is stuff in this article about a proposal where veterans would get in-state tuition, but I don’t really think that’s the point.

5. There is salt water on Mars, according to some scientists here. That’s boring.

6. 3 houses of Baits II will be designated strictly freshmen next year. That will keep out all of the sophomores who are clammoring to live that far away. Being surrounded by other people who are new to the school will clearly only improve the experience of living on North campus.

7. Crime notes: fake flowers (stolen) and fake money (with which someone attempted to pay for parking)

8. According to a viewpoint by an Associate Dean at Rackham, only about 2/3 of Ph.D. students actually recieve their degrees here. With a little support from the continuous
enrollment program, they should be all set, the viewpoint argues. As far as I can tell, nothing about being a Ph.D. student is funny.

9. Patrick Zabawa has trouble understanding why it’s a good idea to make higher education more accessible since our workforce is over-educated as it is. Notice that he’s so
passionate about this issue, yet he’s unwilling to sacrifice by not getting a college degree.

10. Birth control should be more affordable. Way to take those tough stances, the Daily.

11. Rose Afriyie believes the Prevention First Act, which seeks to limit unwanted pregnancies, abortions, and STD’s, is the closest thing to a compromise between those who are pro-life and those who are pro-choice. Well, that’s where she is wrong. As a liberal, I want more abortions, so I can’t support this.

12. The b-side claims that the UMMA is appealing, not just to “typical museum-goers” but also “engineers, mathematicians, and people from all areas of study.” Now that is shocking. Mathmaticians are actual people? They are capable of appreciating art? Wow.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take some derivatives and not understand Picasso.

I don't get it.

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Kaitlin Henry: Environmentally Destructive Habits Are NOT Something to Celebrate

As you can see, Kaitlin loves the environment. Well, mainly leaves.
As you can see, Kaitlin loves the environment. Well, mainly leaves.

Our very own Kaitlin Henry wrote a great letter to the editor that appeared in today’s Michigan Daily. Here’s the full letter:

Victoria Miller’s letter to the editor regarding Earth Hour (Earth Hour exemplifies anti-progressive principles, 03/27/2009) was a disturbing example of a prideful attitude toward overconsumption. While the author should receive credit for putting her blatant selfishness up for the entire University to read, it is terrifying to imagine that her voice represents the opinions of many.

The suggestion that making personal energy sacrifices is somehow backtracking, “sacrificing humanity” or disrespecting the ingenuity of past inventors is absolutely absurd. Nobody denies the importance of their discoveries, but that does not make them appropriate for a sustainable future. In fact, it’s precisely that type of innovation that should inspire us to find every possible way to reduce our carbon footprints. Such a viewpoint does not demonstrate appreciation for modern technology but instead demonstrates the danger of ignorant and foolish pride. Environmentally destructive habits are not something to celebrate.

Kaitlin Henry
LSA freshman

Nice letter, Kaitlin. You’ve made us proud! For the article link, click here.

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Daily Daily by Regler

franklin's hat

The following opinions are the product of me, Rebecca G. Egler, and nobody else, including the University of Michigan College Democrats, the Michigan Democratic Party, the Michigan Federation of College Democrats, the state of Michigan, the state of grace, Bruce Springsteen, Jennifer Granholm, Josh LeVasseur and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

1. The Art Museum opened last night and welcomed in a large number of students who will probably never return again – free cookies were only there the first night, and I’m not sure if anything else was really going on in the building.

2. The University of Michigan health care system, after deciding that providing people with faulty UTI tests and the occasional free condom, has decided to increase funding to cover a larger portion of its uncompensated fares. In order to benefit from this, one must sit in a bleak room for 2 hours waiting for his or her name to be called into a cubicle before being shipped with papers via ziplock bag to an actual doctor.

3. The Ross School of Business is not yet officially changing any sort of ethical training for their students, but instead there is going to be a “shift in attitude” – this is all very encouraging because nothing says better business practice like “shifting attitudes” and “understanding” when it comes to ensuring the ethics of modern American business. (more…)

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Daily Daily

funny pictures of cats with captions

*The following should not be taken seriously and is in no way the opinion of CDUM, MDP, MFCD, UM, MSA, MVP, DAAP, NCAA, NAACP, USSR, CCCP, or anyone else for that matter including the author.*

1) There was an debate last night with the MSA presidential candidates, it seems pretty tame according to the article.  Which is so shocking considering both parties are so very different… do you sense the sarcasm?  Vote for Me!!!  Seriously, Please, I need the help!!!
2) The professors want more protection to say whatever they like.  I think this is a fair request, considering they already make half this shit up anyways.
3) Some grads from the engineering college with the help of google have connected Kenyans to the interwebs.  Because eBay, YouTube, and Facebook are exactly what Kenya needs to join the first world.
4) Mary Sue, that feisty minx, has said the university is going to keep growing even during economic hardtimes.  I’d say she has a 50/50 shot of being right, I say we take all our funds out of stocks and put it into gold, then we turn the Pfizer complex into our own For Knox.  That’s economic growth we can believe in, plus when the world fails to recover from this recession they will unite under the University of Michigan, which will by then be it’s own nation. (more…)

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Daily Daily

The opinions expressed herein do not represent the views of the DNC, MDP, UMCD, or our new overlords Tom Duvall and Chairman Mao

1. Basketball dominated Iowa to ensure a place in the NCAA tournament.  Iowa’s season is over.  Apparently, ethanol and agribusiness are the only losers that get subsidized in Iowa.

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Daily Daily

The views expressed in this column do not reflect the positions of the UMCD, MFCD, MDP, DNC, or probably me.  They are an effort to be funny.  They will fail.  They will probably offend someone while being unfunny.  Deal with it.

Ya so the 9/11 thing is there because I couldn’t find the Danish and American flags any other way


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Daily Daily

*The views expressed herein are that of the author and no one else.  They do not reflect the opinions, views, or sense of humor of UMCD, MFCD, MDP, AARP, AAA, NCAA, NAIA, or anyone else.  Thank you for letting me waste your time, you are now free to move about the country!*

1)  There is a large photo on the cover of people wearing masks and white pants, must be some sort of new street gang.  The State Street Breeches!
2) Some Doctor is getting paid $700,000 to take over UMHS, she’s the first woman.  It’s funny though, I’d have done the job for $150,000 and a pack of Camels.  Maybe that is why they turned me down…
3) MC Mary Sue was speaking to the Faculty the other night, spinning some mad rhymes about the stimulus package, including a point that the state cannot accept stimulus funds if they cut University funding.  She then broke into her own cover of “Fuck the Police.” (more…)

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Daily Daily (sudoku edition)


Don’t bother, I did it for you.


**Disclaimer: The following is the opinion of the author and in no way represents the opinions of The University of Michigan College Democrats. At this point you have the choice to continue reading or stop now should you feel the temptation to disagree with what I say. **

1) Let me first start off my saying you know the Daily is giving a real substantial paper when they feature not 1, not 2 but 3 sudoku puzzles within their pages. This whole year I only needed the Daily to supplement the Daily Daily with sudokus. So, me make it easier for you, the first 4 numbers on the first sudoku from left to right are 1, 3, 6, 9. 
2) A big picture of the Ben Folds concert yesterday. I’m glad I didn’t miss anything, I wouldn’t pay $40 to see a well light room full of boring happy people. (more…)

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Daily Daily

The opinions are those of the author only and not those of UMCD, MFCD, DNC, Barack Obama or Thomas Jefferson.  They are also probably not funny.

Kinda Cute

Kinda Cute

Big photo of Camila Ballario: the winner of Michigan Idol.  She’s a sophomore at the Music school.  I thought the whole point of these competitions was for them to be amateur only.

Jennifer Granholm wants to cut three percent from state funding for higher education and then ask universities not to raise tuition.  Stabbing schools in the back with one hand and lecturing them on what not to do in order to get back on their feet with the other.  Well… I guess that certainly shows some guts.

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